Posts by Ima Apostate

20

The 2008 Grand Boasting Session Ahead

by WTWizard in

well, the time is almost here--already.

the first of the 2008 grand boasting sessions is almost upon us, and i expect to begin seeing threads about the programs in the coming weeks.

notably, this means some children will be missing the last weeks of school (the program starts on friday), or at least one day of it, to attend.. i will be looking for any new rules and instructions that have not yet happened.

Ima Apostate

My, things have changed since I went to these! Bans on Myspace and Facebook! I'm not really suprised...

But bans on oral sex?

I'd rather die ;-)

44

Hi I'm new here - a bit about me

by Fishbulb in

well where do i start?

i am 34, male and gay.

when i was about 15 i was exposed to the witnesses teachings.

Ima Apostate

I hope you will find some comfort here. I'm sure you will make new 'worldly' friends soon. And believe me, worldly people are so much better friends than anyone in the Kingdom Hall.

54

Finding Faith

by Ima Apostate in

how many of you ex-jw kids were able to believe in mainstream christianity after leaving the borg?

within the last year, i have opened up to getting to know god again.

what's funny is that when i prayed for truth and to know god, i knew and had a real feeling in my heart that i was getting closer to something real, but there was still a voice going, "hey, it's me jehovah, and you have rejected me!".

Ima Apostate

BurntheShips,

I'm so glad you were able to find faith as well. Setting foot in an Episcopal church 9 months ago was the scariest thing I have ever done. I was so freaked out by everything - the huge cross, the font, the pastor in his weird outfit (oh my God - where is his suit and tie!! ;-), and the reading of the Psalms and especially the Creed. But when he preached a gospel that I have heard a million times in a completely new light, my heart broke. I literally had tears in my eyes. I realized I'd been dead wrong about scores of people for a long time. Don't get me wrong, I still have my reservations about Fundamentalist Southern Christians... But there is a whole world of believers out there who really have a good sense about what is really going on.

I understand not everyone wants a relationship with God or believes in him, and I'm not here to tell them what they need to do and what they need to believe. I just hope they keep an open mind as they move through life about the people who have managed to find faith in something beyond themselves.

-Ima

54

Finding Faith

by Ima Apostate in

how many of you ex-jw kids were able to believe in mainstream christianity after leaving the borg?

within the last year, i have opened up to getting to know god again.

what's funny is that when i prayed for truth and to know god, i knew and had a real feeling in my heart that i was getting closer to something real, but there was still a voice going, "hey, it's me jehovah, and you have rejected me!".

Ima Apostate

Wow. There certainly are some mixed views out there concerning this. Let me just say that I'm not suprised at all that so many people here are completely confused about God and don't see the point in trying to understand him. After all, he makes it pretty freakin' hard. You can't pick up the Bible, read it, and say, "Wow! I get it now!" And weird fundamentalist Christians don't make it any easier to find faith. (And sorry to anyone here who has simply stopped believing in God - you totally have that right - I was just never able to completely get rid of the idea that there might be something there.)

In my experience, I would say I was agnostic for years and years. And nothing happened in my life to make me seek out faith. Absolutely nothing. Life went on as it always has and it's been pretty freakin' good. If I am seeking faith for comfort, it is an unconscious desire.

But for some reason about 11 months ago, something led me to faith. I started looking, and praying on the scriptures that deal with "seek and you shall find". I also read a terrific book by Tom Wright called Simply Christian about this time, and it showed me that mainstream Christians don't necessarily believe all those doctrines that JWs taught me they did (like eternal hellfire, going up to the clouds of heaven to meet Jesus, etc).

Bottom line, I think something created us. And I think that something wants us to realize that it's about him, not us. I also believe that Yahweh in the old testament was loving AND forgiving. Do you know how many times he spared Israel, how many times they kept screwing up, and how many times he sought to forgive them? Yes God is wrathful at times, but I'm a parent, and my kids will tell you that I've been wrathful when I've been angry at what they've done. Jesus has revealed in the New Testament that above all, God is a god of love, and he wants us to love him and our fellow man.

I don't type this to tell you what to believe, this is simply what I've been able to wrap my insane brain around since coming out of JW brainwashing and then slowly drawn out of a long period of Agnosticism. You all believe what you want! I won't even claim that I'm right... It's just what I feel deeply and what makes sense to me after a careful study of the Bible and human history.

31

watchtowers at my threrapist's office

by loosie in

when i go to my threrapist's office, while waiting in the waiting room, i look for wts and awakes.

when i find them i write on them a website either this one or silent lambs or i just write "this group is a cult" across the front of it.. one visit i found like 12 wts.

i didn't have time to scribble a note on all of them before my therapist called me in.. well this week.

Ima Apostate

Loosie, you are the coolest. You've inspired me to carry a Sharpie at all times.

54

Finding Faith

by Ima Apostate in

how many of you ex-jw kids were able to believe in mainstream christianity after leaving the borg?

within the last year, i have opened up to getting to know god again.

what's funny is that when i prayed for truth and to know god, i knew and had a real feeling in my heart that i was getting closer to something real, but there was still a voice going, "hey, it's me jehovah, and you have rejected me!".

Ima Apostate

How many of you ex-JW kids were able to believe in mainstream Christianity after leaving the Borg? Within the last year, I have opened up to getting to know God again. What's funny is that when I prayed for truth and to know God, I knew and had a real feeling in my heart that I was getting closer to something real, but there was still a voice going, "Hey, it's me Jehovah, and you have rejected me!"

Luckily, with a LOT of study of JW belief, mind control, the Bible, the Trinity, and Christian history, the voice is finally going away. It might even be gone. Anyone else have that voice for a while? How many of you have been able to say the Creed and believe it? I didn't say the Creed at church for months.

And oh my god, the first time I took communion, it was like heaven. I cried almost every day in the weeks leading up to my baptism.

Just wondering what you experiences are?

51

I think I just need to tell the story to someone who will get it?

by aimless in

hi everyone, im new.

i've been feeling a burden on myself for the years that i have been out and i just don't know how to ease it.

i can't talk about the organization or the people in it to anyone... if i try i immediately feel sick and want to close up and just disappear.

Ima Apostate

And I agree about college. It teaches you HOW to think, not WHAT to think. It will open your mind and give you confidence.

51

I think I just need to tell the story to someone who will get it?

by aimless in

hi everyone, im new.

i've been feeling a burden on myself for the years that i have been out and i just don't know how to ease it.

i can't talk about the organization or the people in it to anyone... if i try i immediately feel sick and want to close up and just disappear.

Ima Apostate

I get it, aimless. But I feel nothing but excited for your potential. All the energy and love that you poured into trying to be a perfect witness all those years, just think what you could do with it if you channeled it into something else? Search your heart and mind for your passion and go for it. You'd be suprised how much joy you can get out of your job when it is meaningful to you.

Plus, you've got a great guy. I ended up marrying my 'worldly' boyfriend and we've been married 10 years. A good relationship makes such a difference in your life.

It sounds like you have a real anxiety disorder. This can be easily fixed with anxiety medications. LOTS of people take them. If you have health insurance, I'd advise you to talk to your doctor and get some meds. I had this same type of anxiety when I was leaving the organization - severe fear that was completely irrational, feeling nauseous...

You hang in there. Get out of the job if it's driving you nuts. And appreciate what you have now. That determined little person you are is still in you and you can do amazing things if you find that passion again.

Plus, pray to God, the REAL god, to open your heart to the truth about him. At first, you might hear what you think is Jehovah going, "Hey, I already gave you the truth and your rejected me. Now you're going to DIE!". But that's just the brainwashing. That stupid little voice will get more and more faint the more you read the Bible and pray to know the truth. You know the Watchtower says that if a Witness stops reading Watchtowers and studies the Bible alone, within 3 years they will revert back to apostate teachings. Well, there's a reason for that, they're TRUE!

I wish you the best...

8

I went to a political rally tonight

by B_Deserter in

it was the obama rally where john edwards announced his endorsement for obama.

i couldn't help but think about how the witnesses always brag about how orderly and clean they are when they get together, not like those heathens in the world.

yet, everyone was respectful and cooperative.

Ima Apostate

I'm so jealous!!! YAY Obama on the Edwards nomination.

13

Does anyone have parents who have left the BORG after you did?

by Alexia in

im thinking about my mother today.

shes been in the truth for over 30 years now baptized in her mid 20s.

she had been faithful the whole time despite being married to a severe alcoholic (my father only studied) for 27 years.

Ima Apostate

Interesting perspective. My mom sounds just like your mom. She is very faithful. And even though I totally disagree with her religion, I don't necessarily want to get her out of it. It makes her happy. The only bad thing is she can't divorce my Dad, and he's a total pig most of the time. They do not love each other.

My Dad, terrific brainwashed Jehovah's Witness that he is, told me that he is getting tired of a loveless marriage. I think he was depressed at this time. Anyway, he said if he met the right woman, he might just leave my mom.

Can you believe it? So somewhere inside my Dad, I think, is someone who could come out. He is a dangerous witness, whereas I see my mom as harmless. Dad wants to convert everybody. Mom is like, whatever, do your own thing. I love you because you're my daughter.

I'd love to get my dad to read Crisis of Conscience. But you know JWs, they are told not to go within 2 feet of that book.